Alternative Sources of Income

I have $17 in my account for the next 2 weeks. And that simply won’t do. So I decided I need to make more money and yesterday I looked up my options on Craigs list. First I found an ad for $300 to go to a company xmas party with a guy, but that sounds too much like a call girl and if he can't find a date I don't think I want to spend time with him. Next ! There are various listings for dancers. And I love to dance! But not without my clothes on, so that's out. There's an ad for a "bikini bartender" in a gentlemen's club that I thought about for a 1/2 second and then realized that as much fun as the movie Coyote Ugly was, it's probably a lot less glamorous in real life. Plus, imagine if I ran into anyone from work? How awkward for both of us. Bottom line is I’m a lawyer now and a fiancé, so I need to keep my clothes on.
So then I started thinking about being an egg donor. It sounded perfect- I get to help a couple get a child, I get to feel all gooey and good about myself for being so selfless and I get paid for it! Plus, I have a law degree and I’m cute so the child would likely be smart and cute too. Sounds great, right? No, not really. The money is good- we’re talking several thousand dollars a cycle, but a cycle is several months long and there are lots of doctor appointments and daily self injections of hormones. PMS is a beast with my normal amount of hormones-if I were taking more I’d probably die of a self induced chocolate overdose or actually, physically bite Kyle’s head off. Plus there’s that whole I have a biological child out in the world somewhere issue. I think it takes a certain kind of person to be able to handle that and I’m not sure I’m one of them.
I look through restaurant listings, telemarketing posts, and so many pyramid schemes it made my head spin. Just when I was about Google “ selling a kidney” I found the answer to my problem- Medical Research Studies! I live in New Haven, home to the fabulous institution of learning that is Yale. Yale with tons of medical and PhD students doing research and lots of moola to throw to willing human lab rats. SCORE. I decided I need ground rules for myself because I don’t want to be the reason they find out a particular medication isn’t save for human consumption. No thanks. So no medications or injections or procedures. I’m not THAT broke. I made a few phone calls and left messages for a brain scan study, a meditation study and an anxiety study. I’m excited to hear back from them and really hope I get to so something- what if they find out how to unlock that unused 90% of my brain? What if I end up with psychic powers? Stay tuned….