The Heart of the Matter

Engagement rings are a topic of obsession among 23-35 year old females. Girls who don't have them want them, and girls who get them compare theirs to everyone else. Advertisers do a FANTASTIC job of making us think that the size/cost of the ring is directly proportionate to the amount of love/loyalty the giver possesses.
Let me clue everyone in on a little secret. The engagement ring is just a piece of jewelry Like any ring, it gets scratched, needs to be cleaned and will feel uncomfortable when you're bloated. It can get lost or misplaced or damaged like anything else you own.
So then why do we make such a big deal over it? Why is it the Holy Grail of jewelry? Shouldn't the guy's sense of humor count for more than the carat weight? Shouldn't the way you feel when he holds you in his arms mean more to you than whether the setting is platinum or gold?
And why do we feel entitled to expect men to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on us when we buy nothing for them in return? If the custom was that the girl got a ring as an engagement gift and the boy got a car, would YOU be able to spring for a Porsche? My guess is not. I think we'd see a lot of Hondas on the road. But a girl with a Toyota of a ring will be embarrassed by it.
I don't think we shouldn't have rings. After all, what girl doesn't love to feel spoiled and special? I for one have a beautiful sparkler of a ring. And every time I look at it I feel like a princess. And that's great. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that long after the silver finish on your ring goes dull, it's the marriage that will matter. My grandparents had 7 kids, survived hard times and are have been married for decades. My parents still flirt and play fight each other. And my other Grandma still misses her late husband, and when she says his name you can hear in her voice how much she still loves him. That's the stuff I picture in my head when I think about marriage. And for the life of me I can't tell you what any of their rings look like.